On Connection in 2020

In my work with human beings, in my own walk, at this time in history, we have an abundance of ease and convenience. Technology puts our wants directly in front of us in lightning speed. We are not offered delayed gratification as a matter of foundational practice, and most people in North America are educated publically.

Human beings are social as a matter of biology. The phenomenon of social media provides us with the same biological release of endorphins, our reward and pleasure neurochemicals that reach our opiate receptors, reduce pain and trigger a response of our parasympathetic nervous system (relaxation centers). The replacement of human contact, of social interconnection with a screen, a curated, often censored and heavily marketing laden platform, for friendship results in the gratification of connection, but the absence of presence.

And the problem with that is what fires together, wires together.

We are programming ourselves to seek pleasure in disconnected and sanitized relationships. We can easily ‘unfriend’ or ‘block’ or ignore folk when we find disagreement.
It is within adversity when we become resilient, by design. I believe we are designing social fragmentation and personality fragility as we invest our time and attention in an imbalanced ratio, favouring social media over human connection.

This is a recipe for depression and anxiety, two main hallmarks of the symptoms of mental illness.
I believe that screens are the newest iteration of disconnection by design. I see we have hundreds of years of designing our modern lives to exclude having to spend time with each other.

The Gathering of humans is an innate requirement of our wellness. If we do not actively provide it, our health suffers as a direct result.

Ways to reconnect:
UNPLUG - discipline yourself to having screen times on and make the rest of your day unplugged time.

JOIN A LIVE HUMAN GROUP - Find something that moves your soul to share with others who also have the same passions.

GO BACK TO SCHOOL - While this might seem a fantasy if you are already inundated with time constraint and pressure, taking a single class, such as a new language or skillset can open you up to new resilience and connection.

DISCIPLINE - Delaying gratification until you have completed something meaningful, and then tapping into a relationship of accountability with another person, such as a coach, or therapist, and then sharing your learned capacity with others in your world is a great way to take yourself to the deep work of being vulnerable to connection.

MOVE TOGETHER - find ways to move your body in a group of people - yoga, ecstatic dance, tai chi, etc.

CALL YOUR LOVED ONES REGULARLY - Tap into your connections and nurture them, even if you don’t have a lot to say.

Beannachtai.

Artwork by C. Lynn Reese